Twelve Step: Are You Ready For Change?

Shared by Heather on Sunday, September 15, 2013:

I love Deuteronomy chapter 30.  If time permitted, I’d read you the entire chapter, but here are two verses:  “I place before you Life and Death, Blessing and Curse. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him”.   Deut 30:19-20

I work with teens on a daily basis and I have for several decades.  I love working with teenagers but there is an ever increasing level of openness about dysfunction which makes even a seasoned veteran like me…cringe. It becomes challenging to understand why people get stuck, why they can’t get past things they’ve experienced…sometimes far in the past.

My son once shared that when he was attending a small group, he asked for prayer.  Someone in the group piped up, “What could you possibly need prayer for…you come from a secure home, you’ve had many advantages – everything in your life looks good.” He felt shut down. He wanted to bring his needs to God, but he was supposed to be OK.

Sometimes the things that we need prayer for are not the things that anyone would assume.

Personally, I like to manage people’s impressions of me.  Success in the workplace can mask the unmanageability of life at times.  I really struggle with being joyful and feeling free in my spirit.  I am nervous about the fallout of disclosure.  Friendships that I have invested in haven’t always been what I hoped for.  Life hasn’t always been as stable as I thought it should be. So, facing the possibility that there might be some unresolved dysfunction in my own life, I joined Twelve Step two years ago.

Twelve Step is the kind of group – where the assumption is “we all have stuff that we are dealing with”.

There were 60 people in Twelve Step when I joined. However, almost every night we broke into small groups to work through the material and pray. My small group was an amazingly honest, resilient group of people, all humble enough to admit areas of dysfunction and desiring to set the past behind with God’s help and move ahead.  There wasn’t one person around the table that struggled with the same issue, but we all wanted help to get unstuck.

I needed help to see how some of my “justifiable” feelings are actually sin.  Through a multi week process I learned that some of my defects are deep character traits on which I have depended for survival.  To release them means to let go of a way of life.

I learned that I needed to change the way I pray.  For example, I have often prayed for God to heal broken relationships – but I learned that when I do that, I am really demanding an outcome from God.  That is a lot different than saying to God “I have failed in my relationships” because it is that kind of humility that allows us to understand how God sees us.  It is letting go of pride and asking God to act on our behalf.

Two years ago, when I began Twelve Step,  I wrote in my workbook that there were three things I feared.  They all had to do with abandonment. One was my son moving away and one was the death of a parent.

Well, here I am two years later. God knew what I needed to surrender before I did.  I find that God is like that!

For much of my adult life, I had difficulty to just throw my arms around my dad and give him a big hug even though he was one of my very favourite people in the world.  As I worked through some of my stuff – I found myself able to embrace my father and hold on to him in what turned out to be the last year of his life.

In Twelve Step I primarily felt growth from my own process of working through the material to help direct me to God. There is homework and it is important to do it.  But I learned a lot from my group too.  I learned how they had coped with issues in their lives and that taught me some things.  I especially learned a lot by listening to the men in my group – because they shared some perspectives that I needed to hear. I felt some of the edge of my anger and fear dissipate.  Most importantly and unexpectedly, I felt my capacity to love and understand others increase.

So for those of you who are under the impression that Twelve Step is for the Russell Brands of this world – alcoholics, drug, sex or video game addicts…you are correct.  However, if you would like recovery from addiction to resentment, fear, repressed or inappropriate anger, approval seeking, controlling behaviour, fear of abandonment.  If you’d like recovery from frozen feelings, low self-esteem, an over developed sense of responsibility or irresponsibility, or inappropriately expressed  sexuality…. Twelve Step might just be a tool that can help point YOU to the ultimate source of our help.

Twelve Step is NOT easy.  It is a not superficial social time.  There is no obligation to share your intimate details with others.  Your comfort zone might be pushed by some of the dysfunctions that others disclose –  but the stuff that we all deal with is just sin in many different forms.  And the negative impact of sin is shockingly similar for all of us. No one singles you out…..unless Connie asks you to do an announcement two years later!

Twelve step is a spiritual journey…I’m still on it. So, I’d like to encourage you that if this is a journey you are being compelled to take….sign up! 

The Twelve Step kicked off with it’s first meeting last night.  If you weren’t able to attend, please consider joining in next Tuesday night, September 24.  This will be the last open meeting, following that it will become a closed group to protect the confidentiality of the people taking this life-changing journey.

You can learn a little bit more by visiting the Twelve Step page on our website.

The Joys & Tears of Youth Ministry

I remember it like a grainy film – that first night – like some tragic drama playing in painful slow motion.  Me, glued to the back floor of that room that helped to shape me through those years of molding up into the adult I’d become, eyes wide and terror gripped tight against my chest at the sight of all those crazy kids.  I was only a few years older but I felt our differences like a violent culture shock that spun me in a dizzying jet-lag and I knew I couldn’t do it.  I knew I couldn’t relate.  I knew I couldn’t make a difference.

I wanted to sink.  I didn’t know how to be relevant.  I didn’t understand how my presence could minister.  I felt angry with the youth pastor who had approached me – a young, brand new mom – and tricked me into agreeing to this nightmare.  I felt stupid and uncomfortable and peripheral.

I went home that night and cried, giant tears of ‘not good enough’ and ‘I have nothing to give’.  I wanted to quit.

“You’re not a quitter!” my husband reminded me.  And I wasn’t.  But I had this idea that I needed to be exactly what my old youth leader had been: loud, charismatic, bubbling up with scriptures appropriate to every single situation that presented itself.  That wasn’t who I was nor could I ever force myself to be that.  What then, was my calling?

And then, as I battened down the hatches of my self-deprecation it occurred to me in some obscure light-bulb kind of moment:  I didn’t have to be relevant.  I only had to be real.

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.  Isaiah 40:29

I faced my second Friday night with lighter shoulders and a determination that helped me find my footing on the slippery slope of teenager chaos.  And I found myself smiling.  I realized there was joy in letting go of my own fears.  It become startlingly clear that all I needed to do was LOVE.  And by loving on these kids I was ministering into their lives in ways much deeper than I ever could with words.

And then, as weeks turned into months turned into years, something incredible happened – I was the one being blessed.  These kids had turned my ministry of love back on me and I soaked it up like a thirsty sponge.

This is the reason behind it all: to see the love of Christ reflected in the eyes and hearts of kids once thought too broken or worldly to change.  To see that love reaching out into a community darkened by a fallen world.  To watch your own heart soften to their hardness.  To watch that hardness dissolve.  To claim victory when a soul is won.  To celebrate together.  To cry together.  To see God’s hand in the little things.  What could ever be more rewarding?

There have been many favorite moments – memories that capture the essence of what this ministry means – but there is one, for me, that is set apart.  So simple, yet so drenched in the selfless purpose of what it all boils down to…

T-shirts are thrown from the main stage to promote the merchandise tent.  There’s a dive for it – like single girls going after a wedding bouquet.  Five guys and a boy about eight. The little boy gets knocked around and one of our youth wins the fight over the shirt. The boy goes back to his mother, crying, hurt and disappointed.  He sits in his chair, tears on his cheek, arms crossed, shoulders shaking.  When our guys realize he’s hurt they take the t-shirt and give it to the little boy.  He refuses to look at them, taking the shirt without raising his eyes, his mother saying thank you for him.  The shake of his shoulders stills. He unfolds the shirt carefully, checking out his prize, tracing the design with a finger.  A small smile starts to spread across his face.  He hugs his mother.  And I’m fighting back tears like a blubbering idiot and am so ridiculously proud of our guys that I want to hug them…for giving up the shirt they got grass-stains on their own by fighting over.

                                                                                                                           

(This story was first shared here.)

There are moments that stretch you beyond what you thought you could bear.  There are days that leave you feeling breathless – like you could never go on.  There are words spoken that break you.  But never has there been a moment when I felt regret for the time I gave to this ministry.  Never (since that first night) did I think it was all for not.  It has made me better.  It has taught me patience, faith, grace.  It has taught me to love without limits.  How could you not want a piece of that?

And now there is a call.  Will you step beyond your boundaries?  Immerse yourself in something that, like it did me, scares you to death?  Will you give of yourself – even if it hurts?  Will you be Jesus to a youth?

The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.  Deuteronomy 31:8

  Alanna Rusnak shares her life with her husband, three children, and a cat she’s trying hard not to love.  She has attended HMC for her entire life and been on staff since 2003, currently fulfilling the role of Creative Communications.  You can find her over at her own blog, SelfBinding Retrospect.

When Women Gather: The Strawberry Social

It was a small group of women who decided it was high time to gather together the ladies of the church – to create an easy atmosphere of lightheartedness – to laugh together – to span across generations – to share stories and tables and tea and punch and dress-up clothes…

And to eat sinfully delicious strawberry treats!

From this vision came the first ever HMC official Strawberry Social.

“We were really excited…about the first women’s social,” said Kristina Dyck, one of the wonderful women who made it all possible.  “[We were] excited because, as women, the need for companionship with other women is so great…regular women’s socials are such a great way to develop those relationships and create new ones.”

Hanover Missionary Church has a rich history of fellowship – of potluck meals and Christmas dinners, work bees and sack-race picnics – but the current culture often seems too busy for something so ‘frivolous’ and fun and so, the team approached the idea with some nervousness.  They weren’t sure if the women of HMC felt such an event was as important as they did.  Would anyone really come?  

Kristina shared that when they were first planning they talked about how if even 20-30 women attended it would still be a great success; but they stepped out in faith and decided to plan for 50.  As the event date drew closer, excitement brewed.  With energetic pulpit announcements (during which Pastor Jason, without apology, bemoaned the fact that he could not attend a ‘women only’ event) and cute posters around the foyer, the buzz began to build.   “We felt we should increase that number to 70 just to be safe, but we were blown away when 70-80 women showed up!  It was so neat to see women of all ages enjoying each other and in some cases meeting for the first time!”

It was a full house!  Auditorium A/B was decorated sweetly with bright pink tissue paper poufs, an adorable bunting made from material scraps, and darling little rocks painted to look like strawberries.  The room was alive with the sound of laughter.  Women, ages sixteen to eighty-nine, mingled around the room during a lively game of People Bingo, dressed in all manner of hats – the grand, the old fashioned, the wonderfully strange – seeking out someone to sign each box on their card: someone with a toe ring | someone who has bungee jumped | someone who has skinny dipped [gasp!] – it was a brilliant way to get people moving and talking and meeting each other.

After some very ‘healthy’ servings of various trifles (because you couldn’t try just one!) we listened as one of our senior ladies shared her testimony.  She told an incredible story of love and loss, joy and heartache and the ultimate freedom through Jesus that had carried her through.  I think it’s fair to say there was more than one lady who had a tear drip down into her tea.

The testimony was followed by more treats, mingling and countless silly moments in the photo booth the ladies had set up in the basement foyer.  With a ‘tickle trunk’ full of accessories, there was no end to the possibilities for capturing fun memories of a great night. 

“We are so excited about the upcoming year and the other events that are in the works,” Kristina said. “We are hoping to create a space for fellowship, for women to share their hearts with each other, for mentoring relationships to develop, and of course to just have a great time with each other as sisters in Christ.”

“A cheerful heart is good medicine…” Proverbs 17:22a

[See more from the photo booth by visiting our facebook page – click here]

Special thanks to Faith Shelley Photography for capturing the memories!

Alanna Rusnak shares her life with her husband, three children, and a cat she’s trying hard not to love.  She has attended HMC for her entire life and been on staff since 2003, currently fulfilling the role of Creative Communications.  You can find her over at her own blog, SelfBinding Retrospect.

This Little Light

We gathered together.  Away from the hustle of the season.  Away from the shops and the rushing.  Into a place lit by peace.  We took tradition and made it circular.  Face to face we sat and remembered that we are The Body, we are Family, we are His Church and together, intimately, we could celebrate our Saviour’s birth.

You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.
Matthew 5:14-16

December 24, 2012

December 24, 2012

December 24, 2012
December 24, 2012

Alanna Rusnak shares her life with her husband, three children, and a cat she’s trying hard not to love.  She has attended HMC for her entire life and been on staff since 2003, currently fulfilling the role of Creative Communications.  You can find her over at her own blog, SelfBinding Retrospect.

New Facility Plans

***click on any of the images to see them in a larger format***

The current…

The Proposed New Plans…

 Possible foyer views…

Amphitheater in new children’s area…

We would gladly welcome your comments and suggestions

Stroll Through The Story

T’was the night before Christmas
And all through the church
Soldiers were marching
As for a Saviour we searched
When a census is called
We gather around
To have our scroll stamped
At the gates of the town
For Cesaer Agustus
Issued the decree
We enter in Rome
Near the fig tree

“Welcome to Rome,” she says,
“Hand me your scroll
Have you paid your taxes?
To the market you go!”
Fish in the fountain
Games in the square
The children to teach
One how to play fair
When through the halls
Passing beggar and shrine
To see the Innkeeper
No room to recline
Out to the fields
Where their flocks they do keep
Shepherds tell tales of
Angels and sheep

To a table of crafts
Where with hot glue and clothes pegs
An angel we make or
Sheep with wooden legs
On to the King
Herod the Great
To pay our respects while his slave child waits

Then men from the east
In wisdom so rich
Teach us of stars
And the hope they predict

What’s this round the corner?
Swaddled in night
A baby lies wrapped in the 
Hay sleeping tight
He came here with nothing
No throne for a King
But offered us all
When He gave everything
Thank you to everyone who made our Stroll Through The Story a huge success!

Ruth – Week 6, Saturday

Saturday, October 29

What has been your greatest lesson learned through this Ruth series?  Why not jot down some of the highlights.  Write down some possible improvements and email them to Pastor Jason: jason@hanovermissionary.com

Ruth – Week 6, Friday

Friday, October 28

Apart from God, Naomi seems to be the main character in the book of Ruth.  Why isn’t her name in the title?  Have you ever felt like your life was being lived so that others get the credit?  What does this look like?